I thought about discontinuing this journal. It's become so sad and I don't want Alex to be associated with sadness because he made us so happy in his life.
But I think it's important to keep it. Because someday someone might read it who is new to thier loss and by reading it they might find some comfort in knowing that sometimes you really do lost control, as parents we try to just be so strong and make the world think that we are dealing with things when we aren't and it's ok to just not be able to deal with it sometimes.
So I will keep this journal and let my feelings come out in it, and maybe someday the entried will not be so sad, maybe as I heal it will change some and it will be important for me to be able to read back and see the changes, see the healing as it happened.